Several close friends and family have asked us whether our pregnancy was planned or unplanned, and the answer to that is... both!
It was a pretty amazing moment when we first found out from a home-pregnancy test. I was about 4 days late, so I sent An on a non-urgent errand to pick up a test on the way home from his weekly boys' night. I have a knack for knowledge and researching, so I knew the best time to test was in the morning when your HCG (the pregnancy hormone) levels were at its highest. I'll tell you this: between An and I, he was the more anxious one to find out. I have this ability to maintain a giddy inner-me where I can jump for joy and freak out as much as I want without anyone noticing, haha (or so I think). When morning came, I could tell he was wide awake, just laying there, waiting for me to wake up, do my thing, and give him a verdict. Of course, I decided to play dumb, pretended to walk to the bathroom half asleep, and went back to bed pretending to go back to sleep. I think he knew what I was up to, so he tapped me on my shoulder and said, "So?" Haha, I can never get anything past that guy...
I gave him my "pee-stick" and allowed him a minute to decipher the results. Overwhelmed with anxiety, he frustratingly exclaims, "What does it mean? I can't understand it!" even with the legend clearly printed next to the result window. "Seriously?" I ask. It's not my fault he decided to be cheap and not get the test that actually spells out "Pregnant" and "Not Pregnant" for you! Haha. He takes another minute, and this huge grin appears on his face. Yes. Success. My husband can read lines. Haha.
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| Can YOU read this pregnancy test? =P |
It was a very joyful moment for the both of us, but I admit, my maternal instincts kicked in quickly, and the first thing that popped in my mind was, "I need to see a doctor... NOW." You see, I've had this autoimmune disease (lupus) for 16 years now, that I've been faithfully counting on the healing of, mind you, and I believe in precautions and making wise decisions about my health. All I wanted was to make sure I did everything I could to make sure my baby was safe, and leave the rest to God.
Now back to the planned/unplanned thing. When An and I got married, we weren't sure when we wanted to have children, but we knew for a fact we wanted to have them. If you know us well, you'd know we're not into detailed planning. In our own individual lives, even before we met each other, we've trusted God with a lot of things, and we seemed to like it very much that way. Even the story of how we met was very spontaneous and well, a God thing. Therefore, we haven't changed in that department much, and we don't plan on doing so anytime soon, either. When we got married, I was still in school, and at that time, I still had a ways to go. We decided birth control would be best for us. However, a year later, with changes in both his and my careers, it seemed as if God had different plans for us, and it wouldn't hurt letting Him in on even more aspects of our life. Long story short, we discontinued birth control while making sure I stayed off of lupus medications, and consequently started prenatal vitamins. However, we decided not to set a "goal," nor actively "try." We wanted to protect our hearts and avoid obsessing over a goal, and just allow God to call the shots. Two months later, voila! God blessed us with a late period and positive pregnancy test! See? Planned, but unplanned!
I believe it's a miracle in itself that, even with my health condition, I was able to conceive as soon as I did, even without intention. God is so good and merciful. An and I have always believed life is always easier when you just close your eyes and let go, and give God full reign. It has always worked for us then... and it is still working now.
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| Taken after our first OB visit @ 8 weeks in the back of our complex. I shed a tear of joy at this visit. :) |
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